A New Beginning

This year's mutual theme is "Peace in Christ"... but I only know that because at a meeting to prepare for girls camp two months ago I received a necklace with an olive branch on it... some leader I am.

To be fair, I had a baby in December and was released from my Young Women's calling around the end of January. So for that month I was all heart eyes for the new little human I had brought into the world, and didn't really know what was going on in the world of church. I had no calling for awhile, then was called to teach the youth Sunday school class. At first I was really intimidated by that, even though I'd been teaching the young women for almost 2 years, somehow teaching all the youth seemed a lot more intense. And there were a lot of youth. I was a co-teacher and all 24 youth from ages 12-18 were combined into one class. Not sure who was in charge of that, but I'd call that a fail. First, there were way too many youth in one class (24 on my first day!), and second the age gap between them was too large. You either catered to the older kids and lost the attention of the younger kids (who often played on their phones), or you catered to the younger kids and had distractions from the older kids (who often talked to each other, and goofed around), it was really a no win situation. I was in that calling for just over a month, and only taught two times. Then I got a text message from my Bishop asking if I could call him when I had a few minutes to talk. And then next day, at church I was released as Sunday School teacher and called to be the Young Women's first counselor again.

So, it's the beginning of June and I'm sitting here wondering if this is the time that I will stick to blogging about my personal progress journey, or if it will fade off again (I am also REALLY bad at keeping a journal). Although, mostly, I'm wondering if I'm even the right girl for the job.

Hi, my name is Tiffani. I live with my husband (Trevor), my son (Chase), and my fur baby (Harley, the cutest boxer dog you'll ever meet) in Abilene, TX. We moved here a year ago from Lubbock, TX where my husband and I were both attending school at Texas Tech University. Him at the medical school there, and I at the main campus where I got my bachelors in Human Development and Family Studies. I had plans to use that degree to help me get a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, focusing on trauma. My end goal, was to help those who had been effected by sexual assault or domestic abuse. I say was, because if I'm honest I don't know what my plan is anymore. I do know that I want to go back to work one day, but do I want to do it as a counselor? A nurse? A phlebotomist? (I really miss being a phlebotomist.) I know that for now I love being home with my baby, so future career decisions are just going to have to wait. During finals week of my last spring semester I found out I was pregnant, and although I was extremely sick, I was grateful that pregnancy was making me tired and not school. I had two summer semesters to finish up, and then graduation in August- but those were the hardest semesters of my life. I love summer semester because they are generally laid back, but they also work at a faster pace. Regular semesters can bore me with their slow paces. Anyways, pregnancy was not my friend, and those last two semesters really sucked. I actually failed one of my finals, because I was so sick. Thankfully, in the end I still graduated with honors and received my Bachelors degree.

I grew up in West Valley City, UT, where I lived with my mother and stepfather, and three brothers. My father and stepmother lived about 30 minutes away, and have 7 kids between them (including me). My family tree is complicated, and messy, but it's mine and I love it. After all is said and done I have 12 siblings, and four of them are married. My husband grew up all over the place, but spent a majority of his time in TX and PA. He has four siblings, and three of them are married.

My husband and I met on Tinder in February of 2015, while he was taking a year off of school. He claims he came to Utah for the skiing, but since there was no snow he decided to try his hand and dating and his sister convinced him to get on Tinder. Though I'm convinced he came to Utah for the dating, and skiing was just an excuse. I was his first and only Tinder date, but unfortunately I do not have the same story. I had many, many.... many unfortunate Tinder dates and by the time I met Trevor I was really questioning why I was on Tinder and had started planning out my life as an Old Maid. Even after Trevor and I met, and I knew he was the one, I had two more dates. In my defense they were already planned.... and one of them was to Music and the Spoken word and I really wanted to go to that. LOL.

We got engaged in April of that year, and were married in July. Two weeks after the wedding we moved to Lubbock, TX. What a crazy year that was. We moved to Abilene about a year ago so that Trevor could pursue other options in school, and I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with our babies for now.

Back to me wondering if I'm the right girl for the job. When I was first called to be a Young Women counselor, in Lubbock, I said yes because I was desperate to get out of Primary. My husband and I were co-teachers for the 8-9 year olds and I hated it. One kid threw his scriptures at me one week because I asked him to sit on his chair and not under it.... but even without that experience I just didn't feel like I was connecting to the kids or feeding my testimony. So accepting the call to young women's was really more of a selfish thing. But I really connected with the girls, and the other leaders and I ended up loving them more than the calling. It was fun to teach them, and be able to hang out with them one night a week. When we moved to Abilene I practically threw myself at the Young Women's President, especially after I found out they were down a counselor. And.... things were not the same. These girls were harder to connect to, and my pregnancy kept me home sick more often than I'd like to admit to, so my face time with them was limited and didn't help in aiding me to connect with them. I loved the women that I served with though, and I will always be grateful for them. When I was released, I felt confident that that was the right decision, and even though the idea of teaching Sunday School was intimidating I was excited about it.

After the Bishop text me, I prayed about the calling. I hadn't been offered it at this point, as Bishop was just gathering information about life with a newborn to see if it was even a good fit for me right now. But I wanted to be sure, if the call came, that I could answer with confidence either way. Honestly, at times I still feel like I should have said no. But in my prayer I asked Heavenly Father to let me know, and when I was offered the calling again I felt good about saying yes. While I still wonder what I can do for the girls, and how I can lead and guide them to be the best them I know that I am where I need to be right now. Our President and I were on a long car ride, when she told me all the reasons she called me to be her counselor, unprompted by myself. I feel confident that the reasons she asked me are correct, and that I am that person she was looking for. I just don't always feel confident about connecting with the girls. Thankfully, though, this time around I've had a few more opportunities to be one-on-one with the girls and it has helped. Yes, the older girls have tougher shells to break though, and I still need to earn their trust, but those Beehives.... we are on our way to a beautiful relationship.

Although, as I type this I wonder if my son has anything to do with the new relationships I've formed. All the girls have offered to watch him, and our conversations are usually started out with them approaching me to talk to him.....

So, we are back to the beginning. A New Beginning. To finish my personal progress and receive my medallion before the program is retired in a year and half. To grow my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and to live a more gospel centered life.