What's the Plan?

So, now that we've established this is a new beginning, you're probably wondering where this blog will lead. What goals I have? How I plan on accomplishing them? And the answer might surprise you, unless you know me really well- in which case you'll be able to answer it before you read it. But the honest truth is... I have no idea.

In real life, I'm a very go with the flow type of person. I don't have itineraries when it comes to vacation time, much to the chagrin of my in-laws if I'm ever in charge of an event. LOL. I have very limited ideas of what I want in life, like my wedding- my husband planned most of it. I choose the colors, and I had a say in it all- but I let him take the reins because he seemed to care a lot more than me and that was fine by me! My wish was for a strong marriage, which we are always working on, and not a big wedding. I would have eloped if he would have been up for it. But he wasn't. 

I tend to take the long way around when it comes to finishing my goals. Like my bachelor's degree. I finally received that at the age of 29, but along the way I had a great career for awhile, I made some wonderful friends, I got married, I moved away from everything I'd ever known and loved. Most of my friends had their BS degrees long before the end of mine was even in sight. 

These things don't bother me. I know that my path in life is different from anyone else's path in life, and I'm grateful for that. Yes, at times I get frustrated that I don't have what others have- I'm human after all- but when I really stop to think about it I know that I'm where I'm suppose to be, and I'm doing what I need to do. If I had finished my bachelor's degree long ago, would I still be living in Texas, married to Trevor? If the answer is no, then I don't even want to entertain the thought. If I had been married when I was in my early 20's, and started having kids when a lot of my friends did would I be happy? Would I still be married? Would I still be as compassionate? Didn't all those years on my own teach me about patience? And love? And service? 

I'm not saying I couldn't learn those same lessons if my life had turned out differently, I'm just saying I'm not worried about how I learned those lessons. If I'm constantly comparing my life to others, then I'm missing out on so much. Plus, I don't feel 30. What I mean to say is, I don't feel old. I still feel like I have plenty of time to have the big family I've always wanted, the house with the white picket fence. The family dog. There is time. What there's not time for is grudges, competition/comparison, hate. 

Okay, somewhere along the lines this post took a turn I wasn't expecting. Let's get back on track, shall we?  

The purpose of this blog is to take you along on my journey as I complete the personal progress program before it's retired in the year 2020. I'm excited to see what new program is put in place at that time, but I've always wanted to get my medallion- something I didn't do as a youth and have regretted every since. I don't have many regrets in life, but there are a few. So. I'm making a plan, and I'm going to receive my medallion before it's too late. 

My plan: work on it every day. 

When I was younger, my dream was to be a wife and a mom. I wanted to be the type of mom that made dinner every night, and could sew clothes for her children (not sure where I got this idea from as both of my mom's worked outside the home and loved it). I thought stay-at-home mom's had so much time on their hands. If you could only hear me laughing right now! Even before I had Chase, I had NO TIME! There are chores to be done, callings to be fulfilled, friends who need cheering, a sick neighbor who needs dinner. Then you add in a baby- and let me tell you they aren't as easy to manipulate as you might think- and you go to bed with the same to-do list that you woke up with. With the added bonus of thinking: when did I shower last? Did I brush me teeth at all this week? Do I even fit into anything other than my pajamas anymore, it's been so long I can't remember!

I am very lucky, in that I get to stay home with my son right now. My hope is that our situation allows me to do this for as long as I want to, but for now I'm trying to enjoy all the moments and being grateful for this life. Next week, life could look very different. 

But, if I'm going to be an effective stay-at-home mom, who complete's the chores, fulfills her calling, cheers up her friends, feeds the sick neighbors, makes all the dinners, and sews the clothes- then I need to learn to prioritize my time. So, that's another goal of all this I suppose. Learning to prioritize. 

I'm just going to add in right now that my sewing skills are a joke, and I hate cooking dinner. So, maybe not those two things. LOL. 

Maybe I should explain what personal progress is, for those of you who have hung in here with me this long and have no idea what I'm talking about. There is a good description of it here: Personal Progress, on our church's website. But in general it's a program that our church encourages young women to finish that will help them strengthen their testimonies in Christ, and learn skills that can help them to be their best selves throughout their lives. It's an opportunity to learn new skills, improve on old ones, and learn form older women- be it mothers, grandmothers, aunts, or other women in the congregation. It's broken up into eight values: faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity, and virtue. Each value has required experiences, some optional experiences, and a 10 hour project of your choosing. Some other requirements are to attend church regularly, read the Book of Mormon, and keep a journal of your journey. After this is completed, there is an additional program called "Honor Bee" which can be earned. But, my focus for now is on the main program. 

I haven't yet decided how to set up this blog. Do I only write about my personal progress journey? Do I let total strangers in on my daily life? Do I blog about every single experience I do? I have some choices to make,  but for now I'm excited to get started on this journey, I hope it makes sense as I continue on this path (I have a tendency to ramble, or jump on several different trains of thought at once. ... what's that? You didn't notice? That's sweet of you.). I have decided not to erase my previous blog posts as well, so feel free to check those out. Maybe I can even incorporate them into future experiences and use them to pass things off! 

Thanks for being here with me, and taking this journey with me. Thanks for keeping me in line, teaching me how to stick to it, to prioritize and to become better than I was yesterday. 

A New Beginning

This year's mutual theme is "Peace in Christ"... but I only know that because at a meeting to prepare for girls camp two months ago I received a necklace with an olive branch on it... some leader I am.

To be fair, I had a baby in December and was released from my Young Women's calling around the end of January. So for that month I was all heart eyes for the new little human I had brought into the world, and didn't really know what was going on in the world of church. I had no calling for awhile, then was called to teach the youth Sunday school class. At first I was really intimidated by that, even though I'd been teaching the young women for almost 2 years, somehow teaching all the youth seemed a lot more intense. And there were a lot of youth. I was a co-teacher and all 24 youth from ages 12-18 were combined into one class. Not sure who was in charge of that, but I'd call that a fail. First, there were way too many youth in one class (24 on my first day!), and second the age gap between them was too large. You either catered to the older kids and lost the attention of the younger kids (who often played on their phones), or you catered to the younger kids and had distractions from the older kids (who often talked to each other, and goofed around), it was really a no win situation. I was in that calling for just over a month, and only taught two times. Then I got a text message from my Bishop asking if I could call him when I had a few minutes to talk. And then next day, at church I was released as Sunday School teacher and called to be the Young Women's first counselor again.

So, it's the beginning of June and I'm sitting here wondering if this is the time that I will stick to blogging about my personal progress journey, or if it will fade off again (I am also REALLY bad at keeping a journal). Although, mostly, I'm wondering if I'm even the right girl for the job.

Hi, my name is Tiffani. I live with my husband (Trevor), my son (Chase), and my fur baby (Harley, the cutest boxer dog you'll ever meet) in Abilene, TX. We moved here a year ago from Lubbock, TX where my husband and I were both attending school at Texas Tech University. Him at the medical school there, and I at the main campus where I got my bachelors in Human Development and Family Studies. I had plans to use that degree to help me get a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, focusing on trauma. My end goal, was to help those who had been effected by sexual assault or domestic abuse. I say was, because if I'm honest I don't know what my plan is anymore. I do know that I want to go back to work one day, but do I want to do it as a counselor? A nurse? A phlebotomist? (I really miss being a phlebotomist.) I know that for now I love being home with my baby, so future career decisions are just going to have to wait. During finals week of my last spring semester I found out I was pregnant, and although I was extremely sick, I was grateful that pregnancy was making me tired and not school. I had two summer semesters to finish up, and then graduation in August- but those were the hardest semesters of my life. I love summer semester because they are generally laid back, but they also work at a faster pace. Regular semesters can bore me with their slow paces. Anyways, pregnancy was not my friend, and those last two semesters really sucked. I actually failed one of my finals, because I was so sick. Thankfully, in the end I still graduated with honors and received my Bachelors degree.

I grew up in West Valley City, UT, where I lived with my mother and stepfather, and three brothers. My father and stepmother lived about 30 minutes away, and have 7 kids between them (including me). My family tree is complicated, and messy, but it's mine and I love it. After all is said and done I have 12 siblings, and four of them are married. My husband grew up all over the place, but spent a majority of his time in TX and PA. He has four siblings, and three of them are married.

My husband and I met on Tinder in February of 2015, while he was taking a year off of school. He claims he came to Utah for the skiing, but since there was no snow he decided to try his hand and dating and his sister convinced him to get on Tinder. Though I'm convinced he came to Utah for the dating, and skiing was just an excuse. I was his first and only Tinder date, but unfortunately I do not have the same story. I had many, many.... many unfortunate Tinder dates and by the time I met Trevor I was really questioning why I was on Tinder and had started planning out my life as an Old Maid. Even after Trevor and I met, and I knew he was the one, I had two more dates. In my defense they were already planned.... and one of them was to Music and the Spoken word and I really wanted to go to that. LOL.

We got engaged in April of that year, and were married in July. Two weeks after the wedding we moved to Lubbock, TX. What a crazy year that was. We moved to Abilene about a year ago so that Trevor could pursue other options in school, and I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with our babies for now.

Back to me wondering if I'm the right girl for the job. When I was first called to be a Young Women counselor, in Lubbock, I said yes because I was desperate to get out of Primary. My husband and I were co-teachers for the 8-9 year olds and I hated it. One kid threw his scriptures at me one week because I asked him to sit on his chair and not under it.... but even without that experience I just didn't feel like I was connecting to the kids or feeding my testimony. So accepting the call to young women's was really more of a selfish thing. But I really connected with the girls, and the other leaders and I ended up loving them more than the calling. It was fun to teach them, and be able to hang out with them one night a week. When we moved to Abilene I practically threw myself at the Young Women's President, especially after I found out they were down a counselor. And.... things were not the same. These girls were harder to connect to, and my pregnancy kept me home sick more often than I'd like to admit to, so my face time with them was limited and didn't help in aiding me to connect with them. I loved the women that I served with though, and I will always be grateful for them. When I was released, I felt confident that that was the right decision, and even though the idea of teaching Sunday School was intimidating I was excited about it.

After the Bishop text me, I prayed about the calling. I hadn't been offered it at this point, as Bishop was just gathering information about life with a newborn to see if it was even a good fit for me right now. But I wanted to be sure, if the call came, that I could answer with confidence either way. Honestly, at times I still feel like I should have said no. But in my prayer I asked Heavenly Father to let me know, and when I was offered the calling again I felt good about saying yes. While I still wonder what I can do for the girls, and how I can lead and guide them to be the best them I know that I am where I need to be right now. Our President and I were on a long car ride, when she told me all the reasons she called me to be her counselor, unprompted by myself. I feel confident that the reasons she asked me are correct, and that I am that person she was looking for. I just don't always feel confident about connecting with the girls. Thankfully, though, this time around I've had a few more opportunities to be one-on-one with the girls and it has helped. Yes, the older girls have tougher shells to break though, and I still need to earn their trust, but those Beehives.... we are on our way to a beautiful relationship.

Although, as I type this I wonder if my son has anything to do with the new relationships I've formed. All the girls have offered to watch him, and our conversations are usually started out with them approaching me to talk to him.....

So, we are back to the beginning. A New Beginning. To finish my personal progress and receive my medallion before the program is retired in a year and half. To grow my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and to live a more gospel centered life.